Axiom 89: Your EQ is Your Destiny

"In a high-IQ job pool, soft skills like discipline, drive and empathy mark those who emerge as outstanding." -Daniel Goleman

“Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.” -David Borenstein

In Axiom 52 I wrote that your IQ has a lot to do with with your success in life. There is also a lesser know intelligence factor known as EQ, or emotional quotient, that has a lot to do with your success in life as well. EQ is your intellectual ability to navigate social situations. In many ways it can be more important than IQ in determining your success.

If you notice someone that doesn't seem that smart but they are extremely successful chances are they have a high EQ. Likewise, if you see someone that is extremely smart but they just can't seem to navigate any social situations with any success chances are they have a low EQ.

Good thing for you is EQ is an intelligence that can be improved with a little effort. It requires you to be more observant about your behaviors as well as the behaviors of others. You must learn to read the unspoken emotions between people. Once you master this then you can predict how your actions will cause others to react. Ultimately you want to be able to influence other people's actions based on your own actions. That may sound like voodoo, but it is simply the result of having a high EQ.

While we are largely stuck with the IQ we are born with we can still improve our EQ, and if you can improve your EQ you can improve your chances of being successful.    

Axiom 88: Catalog Your Life

"What is a diary as a rule? A document useful to the person who keeps it. Dull to the contemporary who reads it and invaluable to the student, centuries afterwards, who treasures it." -Walter Scott

Take a moment every once in a while for some self reflection. Find an outlet that works for your style and fits your schedule. It may be jotting down your thoughts in a journal, recording your thoughts as a voice memo or video, or some other way of cataloging your life all together.

Cataloging your life serves two purposes. First, it allows self-reflection. You are able to evaluate your life, make changes, and set goals easier. When you don't have any thorough way of self reflection then you will continue to drift through life like you always have.

Second, it allows a record of your life that you can pass down to your family and children. Everyone wants some sort of lasting memorial that speaks to who they were as a person. I can only imagine how thrilled I would be to have video or audio of my now deceased family telling me the story of their life I their own words. When you die your life story will fade away unless you have done something to preserve it otherwise.

Take the time to express yourself and reflect. Don't let time get away from you before it is too late.  

Axiom 87: Don't Strive for Perfection

"Don't wait, the time will never be just right." -Napoleon Hill

When i visited Paris a few years ago I was excited about seeing the Eiffel Tower. I had a vision of how quiet and romantic it would be. However, when I actually got there it was nothing like I had imagined. It wasn't the perfect place I had imagined. It was loud, crowded with people selling souvenirs, and was more like a carnival than a romantic destination. It was a simple reminder that nothing is perfect.

Don't let perfection derail your success. There are three distinct ways that the idea of perfection can hurt you:

First, don't be such a perfectionist in starting a project that you never get the ball rolling. Some people want everything to be perfect before they begin a big project. They want to have all their little side projects done, they want the timing to be perfect, they want all their resources lined up first, etc. Don't worry about making a perfect situation before you begin a project. Just dive in and let things work themselves out along the way. 

Second, don't be such a perfectionist that you never complete a project quickly. If it takes five hours to do something 96% accurately, and 12 hours to do it 100% accurately maybe the extra time isn't worth it. Of course this is a question only you will know the answer to but make sure you are not wasting time for the sake of perfection. Most tasks do not have to be 100% accurate.

Lastly, don't let the idea of perfection distort your life view. While you should strive to do good work, don't strive for an idea of perfection that is not possible. Sometimes imperfection is perfection in itself. When I realized that the Eiffel Tower was more of a tourist trap than the idea of perfection I had envisioned I did not let it ruin my time. I simply keep my distance from the crowds and the insanity and enjoyed it from a distance with my wife. From a distance it was as perfect and magical as I had imagined.