Axiom 100: Symbolism & Rituals

Here we are at the 100th Axiom. I can't believe what a long journey it has been to get here. 100 is a milestone, right? Or is it just another number? 

Turns out it's both, and this leads us to today's lesson:

Many things in our lives are symbolic or ritualistic in nature. A college degree, a wedding anniversary, a Christmas tree, our favorite meal. The value can sometimes either be lost in the symbolism, and sometimes the value is the symbolism itself. It often goes against common sense why we do the things we do. That is where the magic lies.

Know where to look, and when to look. There was as much value in the first Axiom as there was in this Axiom. The order of learning is both important and inconsequential at the same time. It is a paradox that you solve to achieve complete mastery.

As we wrap up this 100th Axiom I leave you with the thought that this is not the end, this is just the beginning. You can easily start over with the first Axiom and continue the journey again. However, we must move forward, and I will do so with a slight format change to this website...

Axiom 99: Listen More, Talk Less

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” -Stephen R. Covey

"It takes a great man to be a good listener." -Calvin Coolidge

I woke up this morning to an empty house. My wife and daughter are out of town. It was strangely quiet. Today I was going to be working at another one of our stores further away. I got in my car where I had a long drive ahead of me. 

About halfway into my commute I had reached a barren section of road outside of the city. I snapped the photo above and the silence hit me. Sometimes it is better to listen than it is to talk. On today's drive I just sat and listened.

I listened to the radio in the background. I listened to the sounds of the road. I listened to the fleeting thoughts running through my mind. The further I got outside of town the easier it was to just listen.

99 Axioms completed and I realize how important it is to listen. I had so much to say when I started with the very first Axiom. Now it is time for me to do more listening than talking again.

Axiom 98: Stop Watering Dead Plants

Wasted energy and time can never be recovered. We so often fall into the trap of watering dead plants. These dead plants take many forms. Stop pouring all of your time and efforts into relationships and endeavors that have little hope of payoff. 

Every true success has to be a two-way relationship. I've seen so many business relationships fall apart because everything was a one-way interaction. Seek out those win-win relationships and avoid those win-lose relationships.

Concentrate on identifying where to avoid spending your time and effort. This will help bring clarity to the things your should be focusing on in life.

Axiom 97: The Biggest Potential Mistake People Make

Never judge a book by its cover. I know it is a cliche saying but time after time I am always reminded of how true this statement is.

Look beyond the surface. A great person might really not be so great after all. What looks like an awful product might soon be the next million dollar idea. That person that comes across as a bumbling fool might actually one of the most well-read and intellectual people you'll meet. You never know, so don't assume anything.

Many times at work I hired people thinking they would be great only to be disappointed in them. Other times people I wrote off ended up developing into fantastic employees. All through the process if I had negative assumptions I kept them to myself. I never wanted to burn any bridges.

The lesson here is simple: Leave your mind and your options open. You will be surprised. Things are not how they always appear.

Axiom 96: The Path of Success

"First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination." -Napoleon Hill

"Change is the end result of all true learning." -Leo Buscaglia

"One repays a teacher badly if one remains only a pupil." -Friedrich Nietzsche

To imply a person is successful implies they have conquered one subject or another. A path that involves just three phases: Observation, Education, and Mastery.

Observation is the first phase. It is when a person is on the outside looking inward. It is a state of knowing what is only on the surface. For example, It could be someone that has no musical training in awe of a guitar player at a concert. Everyone must make a decision (conscious or unconscious) if they wish to go beyond this first phase into the next phase.

The next phase is a phase of education. It is where a person goes deeper than what is on the surface and starts actively learning. The romanticism from the observation phase starts to fade and the hardships of practice appear. To continue from our previous example, it is where a person was so inspired by a concert they went to that they decide to buy a guitar and start taking guitar lessons. This is the phase in which most people end their quest.

For the few that continue on their journey the final phase is mastery. It is where someone takes control of a craft and remolds it in their own likeness. It is a complete cycle and return of that original romanticism from phase one. In our example it is where someone practices and learns the skills of playing guitar to the level that they use that skill to changes the lives of others. Whether it be playing a concert, writing music, forming a record label, starting a guitar manufacturing company, etc.

The subject is irrelevant, but the three phases on the path to success are always the same.  

Axiom 95: Methods & Results

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him." -David Brinkley

"If you look really closely, most overnight successes took a long time." 

-Steve Jobs

When you're seeking success it's normal to examine the success of other people. We often use the success of others as a measuring stick or a blueprint for our own path in life. However, it's important to differentiate the difference between methods and results.

For example, you might see two incredibly wealthy people. You might assume their wealth is a result of some successful methods they used in life. However, one might have been born into wealth and the other born into poverty. In this situation you have the same results but two very different methods to get there.

In another example you might see two very poor people. You might assume from their lack of wealth that their methods in life are useless. However, maybe one of them has sacrificed wealth in the near term because they are working on something that could pay off big in the long term. Again, the results don't always reflect the methods in real time.

You must look at results and the methods they used to get those results for a clear picture. Only then can you apply what you learn to your own journey in life.

Axiom 94: Always Do Your Best

"Do the best you can in every task, no matter how unimportant it may seem at the time. No one learns more about a problem than the person at the bottom." -Sandra Day O'Connor

At age 16 my very first job was sacking groceries at a national supermarket chain. It was by no means a job I really wanted. It was the only company that I applied with that called me back. The pay was low ($4.40/hr). The schedule was erratic (I'd work various shifts from 7:00 am to 1:00 am throughout the week), and the work was physically exhausting.

While there was little, if anything, redeeming about my first job I still tried to do the best job possible. I had the mindset that the company was paying me for my services and I owed it to them to do the best job possible. My coworkers slacked off, worked at a mediocre pace, and did the bare minimum to get through the day. I always stayed busy, worked as fast as possible, and asked my boss for more work to do when I was caught up. 

Just as I started to lose faith that I was working hard for nothing I got promoted - again and again. Before I turned 17 I became a cashier (even though the company didn't even hire cashiers younger than 18). Then just before I turned 18 I was promoted to customer service manager (probably the youngest one in a company with thousands of employees).

I got promoted because I always tried to do my best at every job I was given. It wasn't from luck. It wasn't because I knew the right people. I never saw my current job as a dead end job. I always saw it as a step to something better and so should you. 

Axiom 93: Don't Forget Your Roots

Don't forget your roots because they won't forget you...

Six years ago when I wrote the first Axiom on this site I knew one day I would start to run out of ideas I wanted to express. At 93 Axioms deep it is now a struggle to make sure I'm not recycling previous thoughts. This very problem is what led me to today's lesson. I went back to the first Axiom and thought about what the roots of this site were intended to be.

I had a business dinner with a gentlemen from Europe a few weeks ago that got me thinking. While he was explaining European culture to me and I was explaining American culture to him I realized how important the roots of something are. We are deeply influenced by our roots, for better and worse. The people we deal with are also deeply influenced by their roots.

It is critical that if we are to be truly successful that we understand our roots and the roots of what we are trying to accomplish. Our roots are like a foundation that should never be forgotten. This doesn't mean that you have to let your roots always influence you however. It simply means that you must have an awareness and an understanding of them.   

Axiom 92: You Don't Have to Play by the Rules

Back in 2012 I was out of town for work for almost a month. It was the biggest job our company had ever done at the time. It was by far the hardest I've ever worked and the most physically and mentally exhausted I've ever been in my life.

Towards the end of my time away I drove a few hours off one weekend on an outing to Yellowstone National Park. I went into a little shop in West Yellowstone and saw the picture above for sale. There was just something about that picture that spoke to me at the time.

Now hanging in my office at home it says, "The Clearest Way into the Universe is Through a Forest Wilderness."

I bought it at the time because that quote taught me a valuable life lesson. I had been through the past few weeks of the hardest and most stressful work even, but there is no success without failure. There is no pleasure without pain. There is no learning and growing in life without first going through difficulties.

I learned from that day on I should look at problems as opportunities. No longer was I subject to the rules simply as a passive onlooker. Successful people don't play by other peoples' rules. They play by their own rules. Don't get stuck in the forest.     

Axiom 90: Problem Solving is the Best Skill

"If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions." -Albert Einstein

"Problems are only opportunities in work clothes." -Henri Kaiser

In school I often wondered, what is the point of doing this assignment? Why do I need this information? In a world of technology that allows us to look up information in seconds or solve a math problem by taking a picture with our phone what's the point of doing things the hard way?

The point is that you need to learn the skill of problem solving.

It is this most valuable skill you can ever learn. Good problem solving skills are a rare asset prized by companies. At the end of the day companies make money by solving a customer's problem, and they have to continue to solve problems to stay in business as industries evolve.

As companies innovate they find new ways to solve problems. In life there is not always one way to solve a problem. There are good ways and bad ways, and if you ask ten industry experts how to solve a problem you will probably get ten different answers.

When I have screwed something up in life I have found my problem solving skills were vital. It is often when times are toughest that our problem solving skills are the most invaluable. I've made many mistakes in life, but rarely have I made the same mistake twice. I can thank my problem solving skills for that.

Develop your problem solving skills. Embrace those boring lessons that seem pointless. The time will come when that information is valuable. When you encounter a problem examine every way possible to fix it. You will find that good problem solving skills might be your best asset.

Axiom 89: Your EQ is Your Destiny

"In a high-IQ job pool, soft skills like discipline, drive and empathy mark those who emerge as outstanding." -Daniel Goleman

“Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.” -David Borenstein

In Axiom 52 I wrote that your IQ has a lot to do with with your success in life. There is also a lesser know intelligence factor known as EQ, or emotional quotient, that has a lot to do with your success in life as well. EQ is your intellectual ability to navigate social situations. In many ways it can be more important than IQ in determining your success.

If you notice someone that doesn't seem that smart but they are extremely successful chances are they have a high EQ. Likewise, if you see someone that is extremely smart but they just can't seem to navigate any social situations with any success chances are they have a low EQ.

Good thing for you is EQ is an intelligence that can be improved with a little effort. It requires you to be more observant about your behaviors as well as the behaviors of others. You must learn to read the unspoken emotions between people. Once you master this then you can predict how your actions will cause others to react. Ultimately you want to be able to influence other people's actions based on your own actions. That may sound like voodoo, but it is simply the result of having a high EQ.

While we are largely stuck with the IQ we are born with we can still improve our EQ, and if you can improve your EQ you can improve your chances of being successful.    

Axiom 88: Catalog Your Life

"What is a diary as a rule? A document useful to the person who keeps it. Dull to the contemporary who reads it and invaluable to the student, centuries afterwards, who treasures it." -Walter Scott

Take a moment every once in a while for some self reflection. Find an outlet that works for your style and fits your schedule. It may be jotting down your thoughts in a journal, recording your thoughts as a voice memo or video, or some other way of cataloging your life all together.

Cataloging your life serves two purposes. First, it allows self-reflection. You are able to evaluate your life, make changes, and set goals easier. When you don't have any thorough way of self reflection then you will continue to drift through life like you always have.

Second, it allows a record of your life that you can pass down to your family and children. Everyone wants some sort of lasting memorial that speaks to who they were as a person. I can only imagine how thrilled I would be to have video or audio of my now deceased family telling me the story of their life I their own words. When you die your life story will fade away unless you have done something to preserve it otherwise.

Take the time to express yourself and reflect. Don't let time get away from you before it is too late.  

Axiom 87: Don't Strive for Perfection

"Don't wait, the time will never be just right." -Napoleon Hill

When i visited Paris a few years ago I was excited about seeing the Eiffel Tower. I had a vision of how quiet and romantic it would be. However, when I actually got there it was nothing like I had imagined. It wasn't the perfect place I had imagined. It was loud, crowded with people selling souvenirs, and was more like a carnival than a romantic destination. It was a simple reminder that nothing is perfect.

Don't let perfection derail your success. There are three distinct ways that the idea of perfection can hurt you:

First, don't be such a perfectionist in starting a project that you never get the ball rolling. Some people want everything to be perfect before they begin a big project. They want to have all their little side projects done, they want the timing to be perfect, they want all their resources lined up first, etc. Don't worry about making a perfect situation before you begin a project. Just dive in and let things work themselves out along the way. 

Second, don't be such a perfectionist that you never complete a project quickly. If it takes five hours to do something 96% accurately, and 12 hours to do it 100% accurately maybe the extra time isn't worth it. Of course this is a question only you will know the answer to but make sure you are not wasting time for the sake of perfection. Most tasks do not have to be 100% accurate.

Lastly, don't let the idea of perfection distort your life view. While you should strive to do good work, don't strive for an idea of perfection that is not possible. Sometimes imperfection is perfection in itself. When I realized that the Eiffel Tower was more of a tourist trap than the idea of perfection I had envisioned I did not let it ruin my time. I simply keep my distance from the crowds and the insanity and enjoyed it from a distance with my wife. From a distance it was as perfect and magical as I had imagined.

Axiom 86: Don't Take Big Commitments Lightly

"Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come." -Robert H. Schuller

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." -Theodore Roosevelt

The biggest mistake that young people make is taking life's big decisions too lightly. Buying a house, getting married, choosing a college, having children, moving to a new city, and quitting a job are just a few of the really huge choices that we sometimes make on emotion only. There needs to be a little logical analysis that goes into making these big choices. Making a choice only because it feels good can come back to haunt you later.

Before you make a decision think about the best and worst case possible outcomes. Don't ignorantly put on those rose colored glasses only to regret a bad decision later. I know we often want something so much that we ignore the bad and only pay attention to the good. You must resist the urge to jump into a bad decision before weighing all the options.

This axiom reminds me of I when I went to shop for engagement rings. I went into a jewelry store to casually look and soon found myself cornered by two high-pressure salespeople holding a ring I asked to look at. 

"If you walk out of here and don't buy this ring you will be making a stupid decision. This is the best possible deal you can get," the clerk said.

It was this statement that made me realize I had to get the hell out of there. Any purchase I was going to make that big was not going to be made without looking at all the options and this was the very first place I had visited.

"You may be right. I may walk out of here and regret this. But I did not come here today to buy a ring yet. I came here to look. I want to consider all of my options before I make a decision. If I decide that this ring is the one then I will come back and buy it. If by that time it was sold to someone else so be it. That is a risk i am willing to take over making an impromtu purchase," I told the clerk before I walked out.

Needless to say that after looking at all my options that ring would have been an awful purchase. I found a much better ring that I bought and have had no regrets.

Think before you act.
   

Axiom 85: Everyone Measures Success Differently

"Measure what is measurable, and make measurable what is not so."

-Galileo Galilei

"The person who scored well on an SAT will not necessarily be the best doctor or the best lawyer or the best businessman. These tests do not measure character, leadership, creativity, perseverance."

-William Julius Wilson

It hit me one day when I noticed that some people do lousy work. For whatever reason the quality of their work is bad. However, you can't always write bad work off to just laziness or stupidity. If this is true then why are smart, hard-working people producing lackluster work? It is all in how you measure success.

Everyone has a different standard they use to measure success. Your boss, your significant other, your coworkers, and yourself might all have different opinions on what doing good work looks like. The key is understanding what all of these different measures look like. Only then can you determine if you are going to be successful in your current situation.

It's not necessarily that one measure of success is better than another, or that there is a right and wrong. Just make sure that the scales of success are generally similar between yourself and the ones that matter when times count. If your boss or client uses a totally different measure to gauge success than you do it could spring a surprise failure on you if you are unaware. 

Axiom 84: When Everything is an Emergency Nothing is an Emergency

"Now when everything has priority, nothing has priority. If everything comes first, nothing comes first." -Larry Geller

"I learned that we can do anything, but we can't do everything... at least not at the same time. So think of your priorities not in terms of what activities you do, but when you do them. Timing is everything." 
-Dan Millman

At one point in my life I began to realize that I couldn't get everything done on my to-do list. I'm naturally a person that likes to have all the items crossed off my to-do list. I had to come to terms with the fact that the older and more successful I became that my to-do list would always remain full. What I also learned in the process was that all tasks are not created equal.

Equal priority cannot be given to all of your tasks. If you have a lot of things on your to-do list focus on the most important ones first. There will be low value "busy" work tasks on your list and there will be high value important tasks on your list. Many times we get caught up in so many low value "busy" work tasks that we never push the ball forward on those big important tasks.

That's why I say when everything is an emergency nothing is an emergency. It is up to you to not treat all the things on your to-do list with the same level of priority. If you do then your overall level of production will remain low and you will never be as successful as if you were to work on high value tasks first.
  

Axiom 83: Rise Above Corruption

"The fight for justice against corruption is never easy. It never has been and never will be. It exacts a toll on our self, our families, our friends, and especially our children. In the end, I believe, as in my case, the price we pay is well worth holding on to our dignity." 

-Frank Serpico

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. and if you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." 
-Friedrich Nietzsche

The further I have advanced in the business world the more I see a shady underbelly that I hoped did not exist. In America I had hoped that corruption did not exist but it lingers in the shadows ready to derail your success at any moment. It is a sad state of affairs when corruption occurs but you must not become part of that corruption also. You will destroy your reputation and your long term success if you do.

I did business with a large customer account for years. Then shortly after a new purchasing person started working for them we began having problems. All of a sudden each small mistake we made was blown out of proportion. We got smoking mad emails from this guy telling us how awful of a supplier we were.

We did everything we could to make this guy happy. We lowered his prices, delivered quicker to him, and did everything we cold to give him better service. However, he was not happy with us and we lost the majority of their business. Later on when he left the company we heard that our competitor was paying him behind the scenes in exchange for business.

Our service wasn't that bad after all. We only got those nasty emails so he could justify ordering from our competitor. It's just one sad example of corporate corruption from many I have seen.

I know who the liars are. I know who the payoff people are, Eventually they all get caught, fired, or shamed. Luckily there is still enough legitimate business out there that you don't have to play their game. Let them think they won for the time being. Eventually they will lose. It is just a matter of time.   

Axiom 82: Being the Boss is Harder than You Think

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea." -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"Don't blame the boss. He has enough problems." 

-Donald Rumsfeld

Everyone thinks that being the boss is easy, but it is harder than you realize. It's not all big money, big perks, and easy street all the time. As you become more successful at some point you're going to have to cross the threshold and become a leader instead of a follower. 

Here are just a few of the things that most people don't realize is hard about being a manager:

1. Long Hours - The manager usually has to work longer hours than their employees. With larger responsibilities comes a larger workload. You have to learn as a manager how to delegate as much out as possible. It's the only way to get everything done.

2. Employee costs are high - You think your boss is a cheap ass and should pay you more, but a manager can only pay an employee what they are worth in productivity. There are a lot of costs associated with running a business, and the company you work for is probably not nearly as profitable as you think. 

3. Always thinking about work - A manager always takes work home with them physically and/or emotionally. The employee is at home enjoying their evening while the manager is at home thinking about work. 

4. Stress level is high - The pressure to perform and deliver is much higher than with the employees.

5. Your boss has a boss - Your boss has a boss that is likely even more unforgiving. It could be a bank, an investor, a landlord, the government, or all of the above. Everyone works for someone else.

6. Firing People - While it feels good to hire people, promote people, and give raises it feels 100x worse to fire someone - even if they have it coming.

7. They can't socialize with you - You're boss can't have lunch with you, can't be your true friend, and is never sure how truthful you're being with them. There is that invisible manager-employee line that should not be crossed.

8. Good managers hate rules - Rules are only in place because of bad employees. Managers don't like having to act like police officers, they have plenty other things to do. All managers would love a perfect environment where employees do what is expected and there is no conflict.

Axiom 81: Learn to Work for Others First

You must learn to work for someone else first before you can ever successfully work for yourself. If you can learn to give someone else your all at work then you will certainly be able to do the same for yourself someday in return.

Here are the 10 commandments of working for some one else: 

1. Always stay busy. Learn to make the most of your time at work. Your boss will notice if you are wasting the company's time.
2. Don't be late or miss work. This causes others to have to pick up the slack for you.
3. Always tell the truth even when you screw up. Covering up something with a lie will make it some much worse for you and your reputation in the long run.
4. Be a sponge and understand how the business works, follow orders, and observe intently. Make yourself indispensable. 
5. Work fast. Be more productive than everyone else. 
6. Offer to do more than expected. Even if you don't get more tasks by asking your boss will take notice.
7. Avoid gossip and conflict. Keep it professional. Always.
8. Complete every task assigned by your boss asap. Keep the ball moving.
9. Dress nice and maintain good hygiene. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
10. Make as few mistakes as possible. Learn from your mistakes. Never make the same mistake twice.

Axiom 80: Explore Boundaries

"Every dreamer knows that it is entirely possible to be homesick for a place you've never been to, perhaps more homesick than for familiar ground." -Judith Thurman

“In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration.” 
-Ansel Adams

It is in our human nature to be explorers. From the moment we are born we start exploring our world. It is this exploration that helps us grow and learn. It is when we stop exploring that we stop growing. 

Maintaining a pristine static bubble in which we often live seems like a good thing. The stability brings us comfort. However, the world is not static. The world itself is exploring. It is growing, changing. You must learn and adapt with it. 

Those who explore and push their boundaries will stay successful in life. Those who do not will become stale and outdated. Don't be afraid to embrace the exploring nature you once had as a child.